The cat you wish you had.
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| KNOW THE RED DOT IS A LASER CHASES FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT ANYWAY |
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| IS OUT OF FOOD DOESN'T WAKE YOU UP AT 3 AM |
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| SEES THE SPIDER RUN UNDER THE BED FOLLOWS IT AND EATS IT |
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| SEES YOU LEFT YOUR DRESSER DRAWER OPEN DOESN'T CRAWL INSIDE AND GET STUCK |
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| KNOWS YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY GIVES YOUR HAND A LICK TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER |
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| WAKES YOU UP AT 5 AM SO YOU'RE NOT LATE FOR WORK |
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| MOTHER IN LAW ARRIVES SHITS ON FLOOR |
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| LOVES TO WRESTLE WITH YOUR ARM DOESN'T USE CLAWS |
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| MEOWS AT THE DOOR ACTUALLY ENTERS WHEN HUMAN OPENS IT |
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| YOU BUY A BED FOR HER (?) ACTUALLY USES IT |
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| ASKS YOU TO OPEN DOOR ACTUALLY LEAVES |
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| SEES YOU'RE MASTURBATING DOESN'T BEG TO BE PET |
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| PUKES ON FLOOR EATS IT SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP |
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| SHITS IN THE LITTER BOX |
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| DOESN'T BELIEVE IN CEILING CAT TOLERATES AND ACCEPTS YOUR BELIEFS ANYWAY |
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| GOT A NEW TOY DOESN'T PLAY WITH IT ALL NIGHT |
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| WALKS ACROSS LAP DOESN'T STEP ON BALLS |
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| SHITS IN THE LITTER BOX |
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| SEES YOU CARRYING SHIT UP THE STAIRS MOVES |
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| SEES ANOTHER CAT IN YARD DOESN'T FLIP OUT |
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| SEES YOU ON LAPTOP DOESN'T LAY ON KEYBOARD |
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| HAS TO PUKE GOES OUTSIDE |
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| CURLS UP BY YOUR SIDE PURRS YOU TO SLEEP |
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| SEES THAT YOU WEAR YOUR BLACK SUIT KEEPS HIS WHITE FUR AWAY FROM YOU |
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| SMALL CHILD PICKS HIM UP REMAINS CALM |
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| SEES YOU IN THE STREET COMES OVER TO SAY HI |
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| SEES UNATTENDED ROAST BEEF SANDWICH LEAVES IT ALONE |
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